Saturday, December 19, 2015

The Evil Step Mother

Was it her Addiction or was she just that Mean?

I know a lot of kids struggle with the idea of seeing their parents with someone other than each other and that's how it was for me. The lucky ones get to eventually develop a loving relationship with their step-parent. For others, it might be nothing more than just being happy that the step parent is making their parent happy or even simple tolerance for one another for the parents sake. This wasn't the case for me because they fought too often to truly be happy. She would cheat on him and make his addiction worst.

Is She Evil

Tolerance demands some kind of truce and leaving the other person alone which she obviously didn't do. In some of the worst cases, it becomes something a lot more hurtful and destructive which is what I consider my interaction with my step mother to have been. I feel like evil is too harsh of a word and I don't want to believe that anyone is evil, but it's difficult when people do something really hurtful. I want to believe that some people are just misguided and not completely aware of the terrible things they do. That they have their minds clouded by drugs and forget what is right. I tell myself that if it weren't for the drugs she might have been a completely different person.

Now despite telling myself that, I still have lingering doubts that some people just really don't care what so ever on the damaging effects they have on the people around them. This is especially sad when it involves a child who is suppose to be under their care. (Other examples would be the elderly or the disabled) I might have my doubts, but I won't ever really know why she did what she did maybe she's mentally ill.

Who Abandons a Child

In the beginning of their relationship I was around 11 or 12 and they made plans to drop us ( Me, 3 of her kids and her nephew) off at an inside wave pool for a few hours while they went at the bar. I believe it was around 3 or 4 in the afternoon so I didn't know at the time that they were planning on going to the bar. Although that never stopped them from going to the bar before. Anyway, we got dropped and had a great time until she arrived to pick us up (or so I thought) around 7.

What I didn't realize as I hurried to get dressed with the others was she was planning on leaving me behind the whole time but didn't tell me until they were all in the car, had locked the doors and said their no room. Supposedly she had a disagreement with my father and that's why she didn't let me in the car. Although she hadn't told my father she wasn't picking me up so he assumed she would, trying to get back at my father by leaving an 11-year-old girl in the middle of a big city. (This is what I mean EVIL) I was in a part of town I wasn't familiar with at all and it wasn't in the best neighborhood.

I didn't have any money to call someone so I waited and waited and waited (wet from swimming) for my dad to show up, thinking he'd realize she hadn't picked me up or she would call to tell him. After 8 I was getting pretty cold, so I went back in and asked the person at the desk if I could use the phone. He asked me what number so I gave him my home number (the only one I could think of) but there was no answer. At this point, I was getting very worried and went to the bathroom to cry, not having a clue what to do next. Knowing the pool was going to close soon, I went back and asked to call one last time and when there was no answer I left walking in the general direction we came from.

Angels Watching Over Me:

I was so terrified I was walking the sidewalk crying and crying, feeling so abandoned. I can't really describe the feeling, but I had never been that scared before. I looked up and saw a bridge thinking I hadn't seen that on my way in but not being very sure since I wasn't really looking. (since then I always looked where I was going in a car). I turned around and started heading back where I came from and by some crazy miracle my neighbor saw me crying looking around lost and stopped beside me.

First I have to say this, it's a ways away from where I live (at lease 30+ minutes), and a bad part of town. The simple fact that this nice old lady was there was really amazing and I remember her telling me that she rarely if ever came here. She was dropping her son from out of town off at a friend and decided to stop at the corner store. 

She asked me what happened so I told her, very reluctantly since I was always thought by my dad to never say anything to anyone if I didn't want people to take me away and put daddy in jail. She gave me some Kleenex, some candy and brought me home. She waited outside in her driveway (literately 3 feet from ours) while I checked if my dad was home, he wasn't but I told her I'd be fine now that I'm home. She later gave my dad a stern talking to and he thanked her from bringing me home.

The Betrayal

Once inside I was walking around in circles worried and now that I felt secure I began getting angry. Finally my dad's roommate came home and I hurried to ask him if he'd seen my dad, he was at the bar of course.  After that, I remember walking to the bar to give my dad shit and promise me he would never see her again. He told me how bad he felt and tried to pay me off with money (100$ I think it was and anything I wanted to eat from the pub/bar he was at). I asked him to promise again that he wouldn't see her again, she left me out like trash I told him and he promised.

When he finally started seeing her again I felt so betrayed like he didn't care about what she did to me. From that early moment in their relationship I didn't like her, didn't trust her and felt like my dad had truly picked her over me. Nothing was the same between us since then. That's when I finally started to see my dad in a different way. I slowly started doubting everything about him. Gradually I started thinking; I can't trust him, he might not protect me, he doesn't care as much, he's no longer my superman.

Yours truly, Charmed
Here's Evil Step Mother Part 2

PS. Check out my handmade Crystal Healing Trees