I use to think that if I forgave someone it meant that Id have to let that person back into my life and pretend like nothing ever happened. In trying to avoid anymore disappointment and pain Id hold on to that grudge which in the end was just causing me more pain. I've come to realize that forgiving someone doesn't mean I have to allow them into my life again. Actually forgiving them means releasing them from my life completely because I wont be carrying that grudge with me.
Not many people showed up for my baby shower because I haven't really kept in contact with anyone since leaving to go to university. Life just seemed to get in the way and because I focused all my energy on building a future for myself I ended up letting my social life slide away from me. Even one of my long time best friend who's also pregnant right now decided not to show up to my baby shower at the last minute.
I thought her out of all people would of showed up and showed her support. Having kept in contact with her over the years despite her rocky path these past few years I was really counting on her to be there. I've distanced myself from her a few times in the past but I'd eventually forgive her thinking things had changed and try to get close again only to be disappointed. I feel like I've given her many chances because I used to be where she is and I understand her struggles.
At one point I wasn't a good friend either, but O cant let that guilt keep holding me back. There comes a point where I need to just forgive and distance myself until she gets better and wants to be in my life. Even though I don't agree with her life at the moment I don't judge her for her choices. I just don't want to be part of it and end up being disappointed again.
It really makes me sad because being my childhood best friend and one of the only friends I've kept it contact with I was really looking forward to play dates and being first time mommy's together. Our babies being due only a couple months a part it really would of been something special to share with her. I can only hope that things get better for her soon and that she reaches out to me when they do.
Charmed
Awwww I am so sorry about your long time friend not coming to your shower. Friend stuff can really hurt. When is your baby due? And do you know what you are having? Could you email me Chelsie? lv4gves@comcast.net
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for you! Giving birth and meeting that new little person is going to change your life in some really beautiful ways.
Thanks I emailed u yesterday :)
DeleteHey Chelsie, It always hurts when you have given so much time into a friendship only for it too go in an entirely different direction. She will get to the place you are at in due time and then hopefully she will reach out to you, I am sure she will come to the realization that you were there and you tried putting into it what you could! It's good that you forgive her but keep her at a distance for time being, so that you don't get hurt any further! You becoming a mother will be such a rewarding experience and that little guy will fill your life with such happiness! I Thanks for sharing Chelsea! All the best to you!
ReplyDeleteIm not sure she will want to be my friend even if she ever does get better. I imagine she will be mad at me for not being there for her. All I can do now is hope because I really do miss my best friend and I'd really like for us to share this special time with one another. Thanks for the encouraging words. :) Im excited and super nervous about my baby finally being born. I really hope all goes well and everything falls into place.
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