Why Rehab Would of Made Recovery Easier

Have you noticed that addiction is almost always accompanied by mental illness or some kind of trauma? I believe this is because addiction isn't the cause of our problems but a symptom of an underlying issue. We try to self-medicate with drugs, alcohol or some behavior to alleviate the distress caused by this trauma or mental illness. Being that addiction is a symptom of a much bigger issue I wish I would have gone to rehab and gotten the counselling I needed instead of doing it on my own. Receiving the proper treatment for the root cause of my addiction would of made my life so much easier. Getting clean and sober is just the beginning of our long journey back to sanity.

Rehabs can provide excellent support and counselling when you find a program suited to your needs. Not everyone's needs are the same and finding a rehab with counselors willing to adapt to your individual needs is essential for a successful recovery. Sadly, my small town didn't have a drug rehab facility and the counselling was very limited. When I couldn't find a program in my area that was flexible and adaptable to my needs I ended up having to do it on my own. If I only I would have known about a rehab that could meet my needs I might of mustered up the courage to go to an out of town rehab facility and saved myself so much time and grief.

There are some great rehab facilities like Advanced Health and Education in New Jersey that if would of been available to me at the time would of saved me a lot of relapses and given me the tools I needed to deal with life's struggles instead of seeking relief with my old habits. I was impressed with how Advanced Health takes the time to find the best course of addiction treatment for each patients individual needs taking into consideration factors such as the type and duration of addiction, mental illness, physical health, and personal and professional commitments which are all important factors to consider when deciding the most appropriate course of action.

I can only begin to imagine how helpful a program like that would have been for me. I'm over 6 years clean and I'm still struggling with some mental issues that lead to some not so good habits, even though they might not drug related they still effect my life on a daily basis. Some of these not so good habits are keeping my emotions in, blaming others and over sleeping to get away from it all. Figuring it all out on my own isn't easy but not having and not knowing about programs that would have taken into consideration my health and commitments like Advanced Health kept me from getting the best possible care. We definitely need more rehab facilities like Advanced Health and Education  and more importantly we need to know about them. 

I'm hoping by writing about this I can share the importance of getting the proper treatment and let people know about great rehab facilities that take into consideration individual needs. I'm going to be doing more research on different rehabs and counselling programs to share with all of you the ones I find to be some of the best. Please let me know in the comments below your experiences with treatment facilities. Thanks

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Thank you so much,
Charmed

How to Hang On to Recovery

Someone asked me recently how they could hold on to their recovery and stay clean when they feel like giving up and I honestly didn't know how to fully answer them because the answer really depends on each person. What worked for me might not work for them. We are all unique and amazingly complex individuals with different needs, hopes and dreams.

After thinking about it for a couple minutes I finally replied well what do you want more then drugs ? What are your goals and dreams. They couldn't think of an answer right away so I asked him to think back to what made him happy, what pass times he used to love before drugs were part of his life. Keep looking until you find something that motivates you. Something your truly passionate about.

That's what was key for me. My love for reading, writing and drawing are what got me through. Going back to school gave me a goal to work towards and made me feel productive, but I use to love school and learning so that's why it worked for me. I also started taking notice and joy in the little things like spending time with my younger brother, building a snowman, watching the stars, decorating my room, oh and nature, camping, campfire etc.

I believe in recovery we all need to take the time and figure out what makes us tick. We need to rediscover our passions, our dreams and most of all ourselves. Their is so much wonderful things to discover out there, we just need a clear and sober mind to start witnessing it all. So many fun hobbies and pass times that can get us through another day sober. Trust me, before giving up on recovery take the time to discover what motivates you, it will make all the difference when it comes to hanging on to recovery.

Best of luck on your search to new and wonderful things. Recovery Rocks.

Thank you so much for stopping by. Lets stay in touch :)
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Charmed 

If you have any advice on how to not give up on recovery please share in the comments. You never know how many people it might help. Thank you

Charmed

Can We Ever Fully Recover From Addiction ?

I've always wondered if us addicts could fully recover from our addictions or if we would forever be in recovery. I've come to realize that opinions on this vary a lot and this might be because we don't all have the same idea of what being recovered means. Even I've changed my opinion about it more then once. I used to think that fully recovering from an addiction was possible because I thought being recovered meant no more urges to do that drug of choice or that specific behavior.

I haven't had the urge to do drugs in a very long time. I can even be around it and not want any whatsoever. I thought that meant I was recovered but recently I've come to believe that although I might be recovered from my coke and oxy addiction, I will always have an addictive personality. That means I'll always need to be aware of my emotional state and Ill have to regularly keep track of my thought patterns, which means I'll always be in recovery. I really don't mind that because recovery for me means keeping myself happy.

To me recovery has always been practicing self care, keeping track of my feelings and analyzing why I feel the way I do, controlling my negative thoughts and practicing positive thoughts and self image. So basically working on staying happy and how to get there if I'm not. My recovery isn't just about drugs but about being happy and healthy. Its about growing and moving past the emotional trauma I've experienced. After 6 years I might be recovered from my drug addiction but for me recovery will always be part of my life.

What's your opinion on being able to fully recover from addiction ? 

 Yours Truly Charmed ;)

Why Expressive Outlets Are Important in Recovery

I have found that a healthy creative outlet where I can express myself has been a very important part of my recovery. I've noticed that a lot of addiction recovery centers offer art classes and other types of creative outlets to help in the recovery process. They might just be on to something here. A few words by The Addiction Recovery Guide describing (way better then I ever could) why being creative can be helpful in recovery (they also mention lots of other interesting and useful therapies like journaling, animal, music, hypnosis etc., definitely worth checking out :

The creative therapies can be very helpful in the process of recovery from addiction. They offer the opportunity to get in touch with the inner self and with the higher power and can provide a form of expression for feelings that cannot be easily identified or put into words. Through helping the person with an addiction connect with his/her more authentic self, the expressive therapies can help raise self-esteem and provide an opportunity to create new experiences beyond habitual and painful emotional patterns. The creative arts foster a renewed ability to relax without drugs or alcohol.

Ever since I began my recovery I remember wanting to be creative anyway I could. Some of the many things I enjoyed were drawing, coloring, knitting and my two favorites are writing/blogging and making healing trees. I do it because I absolutely love it and would be in heaven if I could actually make a living on it. I know you guys feel me right, its everybody dream to make a living doing something they love, something they are completely and truly passionate about. I am even lucky enough to have something be really helpful to my recovery.

When I get overwhelmed with my life, being creative can help me find peace and a serene state of mind. Its like all this emotional build up and blockage I can sometimes feel gets released. I've noticed this even more lately when I started doing my healing trees again. I had stopped for a while because I was having a hard time selling them and I just had so many made. Thankfully my aunt took them off my hands and put them in her shop and after a while I finally started wanting to make more that I could have with me to try to sell on my own again. In the end selling them isn't what matters, the wonderful feeling I get when making them is enough for me to keep at it (well until I run out of supplies since their not cheap Ill have to wait till I sell some to buy more).

My point here is to find some creative hobby you love to do because its has so many therapeutic benefits specially for someone in recovery. Find time for you and let your imagination free. It really does calm my mind and just puts me in an overall happier mood which makes me more patient and understanding.

If you want to take a look at my healing trees here's the link to my ebay page :) and the link the my healing trees facebook page. 

Charmed

I Need To Get My Shit Together

For the past week, I haven't been doing much of anything except sleeping and its starting to really get to me. I remember this feeling of being tired all the time when I first started my recovery and it was pretty bad, but not as bad as this. I'm literally sleeping anywhere from 15 to 18 hours a day. I'm sure being pregnant is playing a big part in me being tired and I haven't been eating the best lately either. I don't have the time or the energy to make anything to eat so I end up eating take out, and let me tell you I'm getting sick of take out. The place is a mess, we have no more clean dishes, and the bathroom and floors really need to be cleaned. I just don't know where to start. I don't even have the energy to argue with my hubby about him lending a hand. I've tried that many times and it rarely works.

I might be this tired because I haven't been taking my maternal vitamins for a month or so. If I don't see them I forget to take them (out of sight, out of mind). I couldn't find them since I got back from camping in July. Funny thing is they were right on my dresser behind some other bottles the whole time. Today's the third day since I've started taking them again and I'm hoping they fix the problem. I don't know how long I have to wait for them to start working but if I don't see an improvement by this Friday I'll be contacting my Obgyn. Another possibility might be the rapid weight gain this month. When I went to the OB this week I found out I had gained 8 pounds in the last month which is a lot compare to the 5 pounds that I had gained in the first 5 months of my pregnancy. This might also be why I'm so sore lately too. Back, legs and stomach pain, plus headaches, nausia and heartburn. All part of being pregnant.

Besides cleaning that badly needs to get done I have some important things I need to do before school starts next week and I just can't seem to find the energy to get around to it. I'm really scared that I'm still going to be this tired once school starts. What am I going to do? Has anyone else every dealt with being tired either in recovery or because of pregnancy ? If so please let me know how you got over it. I don't think I can take it much longer, so much needs to get done. I'll try and make a list tomorrow and deal with one thing on the list at a time. I'll let you know how that goes. I'm happy I've been able to keep up with my blogging at least because that's one thing that definitely makes me happy and soothes me. It be a total dream if I could eventually become a full time blogger.

Charmed

Its Been 6 Years Since I Decided to Quit & Get Clean

I've never been one to focus on the exact date I got clean because I relapsed so much in the beginning that I just stopped keeping track. I'd get so disappointed in myself every time I had to start over again that it wasn't helping me stay sober and happy. Disappointment led to me relapsing to make those thoughts go away. Another problem with me keeping a sober date was that there's so much controversy over methadone and actually being clean and sober. Not to mention that I do drink a couple times a year and rarely to the point of actually getting drunk, but I've also never had a problem with alcohol and I've never associated alcohol with drugs.

People are going to disagree with me on whether I'm clean or not and because of that I usually avoid mentioning how long I consider myself to have been not in "active addiction/use" (is probably a better way of putting it). What matters here is that I believe I started changing my life and getting out of the vicious cycle of addiction 6 years ago this month.

In August 2008, I did something I was very ashamed of and that ended up being the final straw for me in my cocaine addiction. I've never really talked about this incident with anyone (well until now), because I was so embarrassed I could hardly live with myself. I just wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened because even though I was an addict I still saw myself as having morals and standards. Thankfully I wasn't able to forget it and the experience was able to motivate me to quit coke for good. This embarassing experience is still not easy for me to talk about but part of my recovery is learning to accept my mistakes.

The "big bad thing" I did was sleep with someone I normally wouldn't of slept with because I was high on coke partying with him. Oh and did I forget to mention he was my Dads friend and quite a bit older then me. It's not that he was unattractive or else I wouldn't of slept with him. He was a well known, kind of business man, that had the interest of quite a few of girls. (If you read my blog on a regular basis then you know that my dad is also an addict and that's just the kind of people he hung out with.) I did a lot of stupid and shameful things during my addiction and I'm not sure why this particular incident was the last straw for me, but I'd had enough. It was probably the accumulation of everything I had done and that one last thing was enough to just pushed me over the edge.

This was a low moment for me and something in me just snapped and I was like no more. This guy called the next day and a few times after that to go on a date or hang out but I avoided him like my life depended on it. I was done with that drug. Once I had made up my mind and started associating it with this disgusted feeling, not doing any became much easier. I still had those urges but they were rare especially compared to my oxy addiction (but that's a post for another time). I was able to be around the drug almost right away and not do any. The temptation was barely there and I think that had a lot to do with the experience causing me to associate this disgusted feeling with doing coke.

Am I the odd one out for not knowing my exact sober date ? Most people know the exact date they got clean and it seems very important. Its a bit more complicated for me as I had two drugs of choice and didn't quit them both at the same time. Although I wasn't off everything, the way I look at it is that 6 years ago this month I stopped doing coke on a daily basis and that's when my life started changing. I think that was a big turning point for me and that makes it a really important moment.

Did you have a turning point where you decided you had enough of the addiction ? Please let me know it the comments below and maybe leave a link to your blog if you want so I can go check it out. Thanks =)

Charmed <3