Why Expressive Outlets Are Important in Recovery

I have found that a healthy creative outlet where I can express myself has been a very important part of my recovery. I've noticed that a lot of addiction recovery centers offer art classes and other types of creative outlets to help in the recovery process. They might just be on to something here. A few words by The Addiction Recovery Guide describing (way better then I ever could) why being creative can be helpful in recovery (they also mention lots of other interesting and useful therapies like journaling, animal, music, hypnosis etc., definitely worth checking out :

The creative therapies can be very helpful in the process of recovery from addiction. They offer the opportunity to get in touch with the inner self and with the higher power and can provide a form of expression for feelings that cannot be easily identified or put into words. Through helping the person with an addiction connect with his/her more authentic self, the expressive therapies can help raise self-esteem and provide an opportunity to create new experiences beyond habitual and painful emotional patterns. The creative arts foster a renewed ability to relax without drugs or alcohol.

Ever since I began my recovery I remember wanting to be creative anyway I could. Some of the many things I enjoyed were drawing, coloring, knitting and my two favorites are writing/blogging and making healing trees. I do it because I absolutely love it and would be in heaven if I could actually make a living on it. I know you guys feel me right, its everybody dream to make a living doing something they love, something they are completely and truly passionate about. I am even lucky enough to have something be really helpful to my recovery.

When I get overwhelmed with my life, being creative can help me find peace and a serene state of mind. Its like all this emotional build up and blockage I can sometimes feel gets released. I've noticed this even more lately when I started doing my healing trees again. I had stopped for a while because I was having a hard time selling them and I just had so many made. Thankfully my aunt took them off my hands and put them in her shop and after a while I finally started wanting to make more that I could have with me to try to sell on my own again. In the end selling them isn't what matters, the wonderful feeling I get when making them is enough for me to keep at it (well until I run out of supplies since their not cheap Ill have to wait till I sell some to buy more).

My point here is to find some creative hobby you love to do because its has so many therapeutic benefits specially for someone in recovery. Find time for you and let your imagination free. It really does calm my mind and just puts me in an overall happier mood which makes me more patient and understanding.

If you want to take a look at my healing trees here's the link to my ebay page :) and the link the my healing trees facebook page. 

Charmed

Is There Anybody Out There??

I've been dwelling on the fact that theirs probably only a very little amount of people that read my blog anymore. I don't even remember the last time someone commented on one of my post. That's probably somewhat my fault for disappearing months at a time here and there when I get busy with school. I know it shouldn't matter too much if not many people read my posts and I just should do it for myself and that's true. I want to be able to look back in years from now and see what I was thinking about at the time, but I already have a journal for that. I could do it to improve my writing but I find I'm more motivated to write good posts when I know people will be reading them. Its important to me to reach out to others and create some kind of support system with people who have dealt with addiction in their lives. A lot of the time I think of things I'd like to write about but then I think why bother no one will read it anyways. Here's to hoping that if I keep up with my writing at least once a week like Ive been doing Ill get more readers and more comments to let me know you guys are there and enjoying my posts.This is my 100th posts. :)  Have a great weekend everyone.

Charmed

Poem: Loving The Damaged Parts of My heart

This Poem is dedicated to that special person who made me believe that love doesn't have to hurt. 

The time spent hurt and alone

In the presence of one that would never know

The depths of my soul that would never heal

To understand would be to feel

Now left damaged and untrusting

For someone to find loving

The damaged parts that I've become

To pick them up and make them home

For only one with a soul replicated

Could love the parts I've hated

Mirrored souls become one mind

Left for my other half to find

In the deep reaches of my mind

There you will find a love so kind

That hides behind walls so tall

Only a true heart can make them fall

By one who accepts my damaged parts

Cherishing the broken pieces of my heart

Never needing for them to be put together

Seeing the beauty in its disaster

Yours truly, Charmed

PS. Check out the Crystal Healing Trees I make myself. They are super pretty and I find they can be very soothing and healing.

9 Things You Might Not Know About Me

1. I wanted to be a veterinarian growing up

2. I kissed a girl before I kissed a boy

3. I'm bisexual and I've known it since I was 12

4. I moved out on my own at 15

5. My Moms my Best Friend

6. I have 4 of half brothers and sisters

7. I started to love reading very young

8. I've been dying my hair since I was like 11

9. Got my tongue pierced at 13

Journal Entries

I started writing more in this daily journal style last week and I enjoyed writing about my current situation because it helped me clear my mind and give me some kind of peace. Some of my posts are more general, or their about my past, like my posts about addiction, recovery, self help methods and personal growth motivation. Although I've already written about stuff in my past I haven't written many posts about my current situation and I want to write these types of daily journal entries at least once a week so I can keep track of my mental and emotional growth. I want to be able to look back one day and see the progress and change I've made in my life.

I'm hoping that my journal entries still help and inspire my readers, and make them feel a little less alone for the moment like some of my other post have in the past (or so I've been told). But just in case I'm going to try to mix things up and not only do journal entry posts. Now if you have any suggestions on things I can write about or even a general question I can answer in a post that would really help since I've been having a difficult time finding new things to write about. I've already written about, The fear of Change, Finding Happiness, Letting Go, Alternative Recovery Programs, etc. so I'm looking for new ideas.

I believe a thanks are in order to Annette @  http://journeyofrecoverysearchforserenity.blogspot.ca/
The idea of doing more daily journal style writings is thanks to Annette, a fellow blogger whose writing style I really enjoy. Her posts talk about her day to day which really drew me in and because I've enjoyed reading about her day I felt more comfortable doing this myself knowing my readers might enjoy it also.

Charmed

Poem: Addiction How We Came To This

Unequipped to deal with it all,

When we met I was bound to fall,

Monkey see, Monkey do,

My parents taught me to fall for u,

Young, naive and carefree,

My whole life ahead of me,

Did I ever have a chance,

Against your captivating trance,

Promises of forgotten pain,

And to never be alone again,

Your lies were too tempting,

Without skills of reasoning,

How could I know better,

With parents who never,

Their reasoning in defense,

Beat my common sense,

Charmed

PS. Check out the Crystal Healing Trees I make myself. They are super pretty and I find they can be very soothing and healing.

Poem Alone In Your Presence

All alone in your presence.

Did you notice my style

Do you see me smile

I seek your attention

Your love, your passion

Your right here beside me

But I'm still so alone, you see

Doesn't matter that your there

When you don't seem to care

I've been on my own

Always all alone

When its all said and done

Its a relationship for one

Your actions betray your words

For it can't be love that your in

And if it isn't love that you've found

Then why keep me around

Charmed

~Love Keeps Hurting Poem~

Same goes for this one and all my poems. Some of you might not like them but they are truly from the heart so please be respectful. I understand that my poem is not perfect and it might seem like I'm complaining, and maybe I am. But all I wanted to do was put down into words the emotions that I felt. The mess in my head. Plain and simple.

Love Keeps Hurting

I'm filled with your lies,

I can see it in your eyes,

How can I believe you,

After what you put me through.

To all the actions not taken,

To all the promises broken,

Your words are now empty,

When you say you love me.

With tears in my eyes,

As I begin to realize,

Its not worth fighting for,

Not anymore.

Wanting to be yours truly,

Wanting you to see me,

Too bad he will never understand,

What it takes to be my man.

Charmed

Love Hurts Poem

Same goes for this one and all my poems. Some of you might not like them but they are truly from the heart so please be respectful. I understand that my poem is not perfect and it might seem like I'm complaining, and maybe I am. But all I wanted to do was put down into words the emotions that I felt. The mess in my head. Plain and simple.

Love Hurts

Your lack of care,
Becomes a lot to bare,
Every day, Every night,
All you do is pick a fight,

You always have a say,

You always have your way,

And when it counts,

Nothing I do amounts,

Again you ignore,

Like I'm a chore,

Its never enough,

I'm never enough,

I'm not worth the effort,

And that really hurts,

It hurts my heart,

Its breaking us a part,

How can you not feel what I feel,

Giving you my heart was a big deal,

Wanting to be your one and only,

You started treating me as a duty,

You will never be,

That crazy about me,

Do I ask to much,

That you crave my touch,

All I want is for you to be happy,

How can you treat me so badly,

My love was always true to you,

Why couldn't you feel it too,

Charmed

Sea Poem

At 14 years old in 2003, my mom and I made this poem when I kept moving back and forth from my dads who lived 5 hours away. I just found it in my diary and thought I'd share.

~SEA~

Sailing the great sea,

Feeling happy,

If the stars shine bright,

If every things right,

Under the sky, above the sea,

You'll be standing next to me,

If and when things go wrong,

We'll be holding strong,

Cause storms always passes,

Long before a new day begins,

We might of sailed different ways,

 But if it was meant to be,

We'll see each other some day,

Sailing on the same sea,

Charmed

New Sketches

I've been drawing a lot this pass week and it seems like I'm getting a little obsessed. haha  The time just flies by when I'm drawing. Its hard to describe the feeling I get when I'm drawing especially if it was a challenging drawing (Like the drawing The Me In My Head ). I guess if I had to describe it I'd say its like a peace but not only that, its more like excitement mixed in with a little frustration then finally when its done I feel pride. In a world where I use to have so little to be proud of, its not a feeling I really got accustomed to but its seems that I've taken a liking to it. Nothing makes me prouder then what hard work can accomplish. The Me In My Head sketch was by far the hardest and took the most time but its the one I'm the most proud of. The two sketches before that one were like practice so lots of work went into it.

Polar Bear

Around Christmas 2012

Tinker Bell

03/02/13

Koala 

07/02/13

Daffy Duck

07/02/13

Sexy Lips

08/02/13

Window to the Soul

08/02/13

The Me In My Head

10/02/13

Addiction Recovery Hobby: Drawing

Last one got deleted so I'm re-posting this with a few extra sketches.
Sketching has been a kind of therapy for me. Its helped me rediscover myself through art after having known only addiction for so long.

This is the first one I did around Christmas time. 

Reflection 23/12/12

Trying out my new drawing pencils

Slowly Practicing 21/01/13

I had a Million Things on my mind

Busy Mind 21/02/13

Every Tree (person) needs its roots (place, person or hobby) that helps them grow.

Roots 24/01/13

I have a lot of Betty Boot stuff so I figured I owed her a sketch. :)

Betty Boop 28/01/13

Bored in class... 

I know, I know, I should of been listening...

But if I didn't keep busy I would of to passed out.

Mixed Flowers 29/01/13

I just started learning about Shadow Work and decided to sketch this to express my Shadow.

If you want to know a bit more on shadow work, (its interesting so far)

Here's the link of the video I watched.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP5CneE0jk0

Shadow Self 29/01/13

Mickey Mouse 29/01/13

~Charmed~

My Recovery Hobby: Handmade Crystal Healing Trees

~Great Mother & Daughter Project~

My mother taught me how to make these trees years ago when she first got started. I remember when the first one sold and she gave me the money I felt like i had truly accomplished something. I was excited about the money (specially at 13 with no job) but I truly enjoyed making them with my mom. We had found "our thing".

The different semi precious gems that were used to make the trees have different healing properties. They can heal spiritually as well as physically, some of them can help with negativity or insomnia. Its really pretty amazing. I know the one i have has helped with my dreams. At the moment my mom is selling the following trees locally. They make a great Christmas Gift or for any Holiday.

 

 

Ill look into adding what healing properties these trees have.