Having Fun Camping Sober

I finally left for camp this weekend. I had been anxiously waiting to go camping since last summer. I love camping and nature I just feel so at home and like I'm exactly where I'm suppose to be in the world. Its very relaxing, grounding and recharging. It makes one realize how wonderful sobriety can be. When your sober enough to notice the stars in the sky and the trees around you.


I spent a total of four nights there and although I'm ready to go home I hope I get to camp at least one more time this summer. I was there for their Christmas in July festival so I got to see a lot of people.  My aunt rented a cabin here and my cousin who's helping with the baby shower also came by with her one year old daughter. Each day had something different. They had lots of different things going on but I enjoyed the fireworks and cotton candy the most. They were even giving away free hotdogs and hamburger, plus Santa gave away free gifts to the kids on the last day. The camp ground was pretty packed for the event. I really enjoy camping, the sun, the bbqs and the campfires are the best.

Besides that I played some Texas Horse shoe and went swimming with my mom, my lil ten year old brother and my hubby. I even got to catch up and go swimming alone with a childhood best friend of mine who's also pregnant. Too bad I got swimmers itch on my bum, its driving me crazy, and I had even rinsed off in the shower after swimming and got changed right away. But nope I still got it and always have a this beach when I was a kid. Funny how my brother got the itch at the exact same place couple days before.

This was exactly what I needed this week. Family time camping will always be one of my top favorite things to do. Hope you all get to do stuff you love this summer and unplug from the world for a bit, it really does wonders for the soul.

Charmed

Cheers To New Beginnings

Wow! Work has kept me really busy since coming back from camping. I got the job at subway and I actually enjoy working there. I'm taking on more hours until school starts then I’ll be taking only a shift or two a week. I didn't expect to take on this many hours this month. So much for part time, right.... meh it’s all good I need the money anyways. I don't get much time to myself but having a job I like and working with people I like has given me the support and strength I needed to detach from the destructive relationship I've been in. This gave me the chance to let someone new in my life that makes me happy but I’ll talk more about that in another post.

I booked this weekend off for my cousins’ baby shower and I slept at camp last night. I spent some time with my little brother (half on my mom’s side) peddle boating. We saw a family of ducks and caught a frog. We made a nice fire and made marshmallows. I'm really happy I got to spend quality time with my little brother. We even watched Jack the giant slayer before bed. The moon stars and lake were so beautiful last night. I had fun even if it was just for a night. We are heading back to my mom’s this afternoon and the baby shower is tomorrow.

I also promised my dad that I’d come over and see my little sister (half on my dad’s side) tomorrow when she gets there because she’s been asking to see me for more than a couple years and she’s only 8. We never get to see each other because she lives so far away and I do miss her. I often wonder how much she has changed in these many, many years. But I'm a little worried about how that's going to work out since I have to be at the baby shower and my ride back home is leaving right after baby shower and I don't want to leave any later than that anyways because I want to hang out with the new guy in my life.

I hope it all works out and I get to spend time with everyone since I don't get many weekends off and I want to make the most of it. I'll also be writing a post shortly about what’s going on in my love life. I know I should write more and even get back to drawing. I don't even read as much since I started my new job at Subway. The main thing right now is that I'm truly happy and I feel blessed to have this new person in my life.

Take care Everyone and Have a great Weekend.

Charmed

Finally Going Camping

Well I'm leaving tonight at midnight (since I missed the 1 o'clock bus) on the bus to go to my mom’s so we can leave to go camping tomorrow. Thankfully it’s only an hour away, and just over an hour on the bus. I'm super excited. I put a joke up on Facebook about me hitch hiking there and a friend told me there was a tornado warning so to be careful. My response was that I might get there faster if the tornado picked me up ... hehe... But seriously I hope we have good weather while we are camping. I've been looking forward to this for a long time. I really want to go swimming and do some tanning (I'm so white its ridiculous). I haven't gone swimming in who knows how long, but it’s been years. I've been buying 1 swim suit every summer for 3 years thinking i'll be swimming and tanning that summer and now I have 3 swim suits with the tags still on them so I'm bringing them all and making good use of them. I even downloaded some Shakespeare plays on my e-reader to read in the sun while I'm getting my tan on.

I'm finally going to get out of the house and do some socializing. I've been trying to do that more of that lately. I even joined fetlife a couple weeks ago to meet new people and find events in my area. Although I haven't gone to one yet I'm hoping I get too soon. I almost made it to one this month but when I got down town the person I was going with was late and we missed our bus to go to the beach event. So going camping will do me some good and I even got some interviews done which I was worried about getting done before leaving. The people from the 2 interviews I did this week said they would call me next Tuesday or Wednesday to let me know which is perfect since that's about the time I’ll be coming back from camping. And if they don't call I'll probably end up staying longer, but not too long since I need to keep looking for another job. Although I think my chances are pretty good since I got along well with the people who were doing the interview. **Crossing my fingers and praying I get the job** I really need it.

I'm mostly done packing for the camping trip but I'm also bringing a bag of laundry that I’ll need to do when I get to my mom’s at 1:30 am tonight so it’s done for when we leave tomorrow. I need a few things washed for the camping trip and I figured I'd bring the rest of my laundry which has been piling up ever since I heard a rumor that are local wash and dry has been spreading bed bugs. Not to mention that I have such an extreme and irrational fear of bugs that the first couple nights after I heard this I barely slept. I would lay there for several minutes and then turn the lights on and do another complete search of my comforter, sheet, mattress and box-spring. I kept imagining that those things were crawling on me to the point where I thought I felt them. I also did a bunch of research on them and I looked at pictures of them and of how the bites look like. I would even do a full body search every morning to make sure I had no bites anywhere. PARANOID, much!! Well it seems I'm in the clear, no bed bugs for me but I'm definitely not going to that laundry matte ever again. I don't want to go through that ever again, especially when I've just calmed down.

I'm not sure when my next post is going to be since I'll be gone for about a week but I’ll be back I promise :) Now enjoy your weekend everyone and have fun in the sun, I know I will. Also wish me luck or pray I get a call saying I have the job. I really need the money. Thanks.

Charmed

Job Hunting

Since losing my job on June 29th I've been actively looking for a job for the past 2 weeks. The first week I mostly sent resumes online and got a couple interviews that way but with out any luck. So this week I decided to go print out some resumes and drop them off around where I live since I don't have a car and the bus cost money. I haven't had any call backs yet, but I'm hoping I get some as soon as possible this week so I can get the interviews done before I leave to go camping on Thursday, since Ill be gone until Wednesday. Although getting a job is really important to me right now, I just cant miss this camping trip. I've been looking forward to doing the annual camping trip with my mom again ever since I left for college 3 years ago. And this camping trip has been planned for over two months now. Hopefully my cell still works where I'm going camping in case I get a call for a job.

I also made an appointment for Tuesday with someone to help me find a job but I realized afterwards that he is probably not going to want to do anything until I get back from camping. I believe he is going to want to wait because that's exactly what he did when I went and seen him around exam time in April. And then what happened was we kept missing each others calls and leaving each other messages until I just ended finding a job with out him. Hopefully this time he is more helpful and helps me during our appointment instead of rescheduling for when I get back. Although I do understand him maybe wanting to wait, he could still send me to places on Wednesday with my resume. But then again I wont be able to interview until I get back so it might be pointless. As long as our appointment is productive Ill be happy. Maybe he can get a sense of what kind of job I'm looking for and I'm qualified for so that while I'm gone he can find some good places for me to apply at when I get back.

I'm just hoping this week isn't a waste of time on getting closer to finding a job specially since I could be at my moms taking care of my brother and spending time with him while my moms out of town helping my aunt move. I would rather be helping my mom then worrying about finding a job. But after thinking about it I realized that getting a job as soon as possible would mean my mom wouldn't have to keep helping me with money and worrying about me as much. I just want to do the right thing, it was such a difficult decision. Id like to start working as soon as I get back since I really need the money and theirs only going to be 1 month left before I go back to school and cut down my hours to only 1 shift or 2 a week. At this point Id take pretty much any job I can find.

Charmed

Another Day, Another Problem

A case of bad luck has got me pretty bummed out. Every summer since I left for college I usually go on social assistance since my school loans are only for the school year. But the last two summers I've gotten jobs with good hours so I never stayed on it very long. This summer was different the job I got only gave me 11 hours a week so I had to stay on social assistance for help while I looked for another job.

This Friday I found out my social assistance worker didn't give me the amount of money I was suppose to get which means I'm getting less money working then just being on social assistance which is really discouraging. Just finding out I cant pay my phone bill or my rent or even food has me pretty stressed out. Especially since my usually understanding landlady told me a couple of days ago that her farther was sick so she really needed the rent on the first.

Oh but that's not all, yesterday morning my job calls me very early when they know I worked until midnight the night before and tell me, and I quote: We wont be needing your services anymore. So now I'm fired for no apparent reason but at lease I had been warned by past workers and current workers that they fire people all the time for no reason before people reach the 3 month mark. Although that did nothing to make me feel better or make it any easier. And as shallow as this might sound my prides a little hurt cause I know I'm a good worker.

On a better note and some twisted part of fate at lease I had already been looking for another job. I needed more then 11 hours so I had been handing out resume these past two weeks. I'm thinking that maybe some part of me took the warning seriously that they fired people a lot and was getting ready for it. So thankfully I had already 2 interviews planned for this Tuesday (since its a long weekend and Monday is Canada Day) and hopefully I get hired but even if I do, I'm still not going to get a pay check for 2 to 3 weeks after the day I start working which might not be right away. Its so hard to stay positive but I'm trying.

Remembering a little good news I got this week helps change my mind. I got my first check sent in the mail from eBay for the ads I have on my blog. Its my first check since starting my blog in December 2012 and its only 30 cents, since its a pay per click thing, but I plan on framing it and putting it on my wall. I want it to be a reminder to keep doing what I love, and that maybe one day my writing might pay off and that hopefully Ill be a success in my field of psychology. I really need something good like that to happen I don't want to keep living like this and even though I know my mom would help me with whatever she could, she also doesn't have much money and I want to be the one helping her for a change. I don't like taking money from her because I know she needs it. I want to be an adult who can financially support herself and its embarrassing to still need my mom to help me financially. I want to take care of her and I swear one day I will.

Another thing that made me happy and changed my mind off the fact that I'm broke and fired was that I finally got my first fire of the summer last night. Its was so beautiful and I think I appreciated it all the more because I had been waiting 2 months for a fire. It took so long since these last 3~4 weeks it had either been raining or I've been working and before that we needed to get fire wood which took my boyfriend about 3 weeks to do. After we burnt the little amount of wood we had the fire had been burning almost an hour and I had made a few roasted marshmallows by then. We also talked about going to watch the fireworks for Canada Day on Monday which I'm really looking forward to. Long weekends are great so I'm going to try and concentrate on that instead of my problems and hope every thing works itself out this week.

Have a Great Weekend Everyone!

Charmed

Drug Free I Finally Notice the Seasons Changing

I believe this is the first spring that I've actually taken the time to notice every little change that this seasons brings. Its even more noticeable in the north where we had such a severe winter. Everyday I would look at the tree in my yard and wait for the leaves to appear little by little. I remember leaving for a weekend and  when I came back it seemed like the tree had grown double if not triple the leaves. I was in awe of these simple leaves growing anew so beautifully every spring. I would also so watch the grass and the plants grow near my house and it seemed like almost overnight they got really tall despite my watchful eye, their growth surprised me.

Every spring I get this immense joy that anything can happen and that great adventures are in my near future. This spring the sensation of excitement and hope are even more prominent then I can remember. I believe having not seen the sun or any of the summer last year has given me a new found appreciation for the wonderful thing that is mother nature. Last summer I worked night shifts from 9:30 pm to 5:30 am which means I slept during daylight for the whole summer. I haven't done any camping or anything adventurous in at lease 4 summers which has given me this extreme determination to make the most of this summer. I definitely do not want to spend my whole summer inside again. 

I just recently got a part time job for the summer because I wanted all the extra time to make the most of my summer despite not having a lot of money I decide to make my priorities different this summer. I've already made plans to enjoy my first fire this weekend, I'm even getting marshmallows. Were going to make a BBQ and have a fire later in the evening. I've also made plans and booked time off the go camping at the end of July with my Mom. I want to hear the waves on the beach and looked at the stars in the sky and I sincerely hope I get to go camping more than once or at lease once more with my boyfriend this summer. My best friend and I also talked about going for a road trip to an amusement park 4-5 hours away. I know that almost every summer I say I want to do all these things but end up not doing it. No matter this summer will be different and I'm already taking action to make sure of that.

The job I got had me a little worried at first but all seems to be going well for now except for not even getting 10 hours this week. Like I know I wanted part time but, wow, 10 hours is just ridiculous. I wanted between 16 and 20 hours but at lease 15 hours. They seemed pretty up tight and strict at first and I kept hearing the same thing from people who had worked at this corner store. They tend to fire people a lot and they say that they won't ever give the person a reason. They also have a lot of rules about personal appearances that I don't really tend to agree with. For example, no visible piercing and no visible tattoos so I have to take mine out and cover my tattoo before every shift. Also my hair has to stay a natural color and I can’t have two different colors in my hair. But whatever I can deal with all that, a job is a job and money is money.

The one thing that’s really bothering me is that they don’t give breaks unless you work more then 5 hours and funny things is they hardly ever put you down on the schedule for more then 5 hours at a time. Oh but hear this, we always have to be there 15 minutes early and we almost always leave 10-15 minutes late which means technically were working more then 5 hours. Oh and because I'm new I have to do all the shitty work, which I think is just crazy at a corner store. Usually tasks are separated equally among the workers, its like that every where else I've worked in the sales industry. I'd understand if it was a corporate office or something of the like but a corner store, its just weird and kinda unfair in my opinion, and probably why they have such a hard time keeping employees. But that could also have to do with the fact that it’s in the worst part of town near where I live so its supposedly gets robbed a lot. Anyways I think I’m going to keep dropping resumes anyways and see if I can’t get a backup plan in case it don’t work out there. 

Despite the job situation I'm still so excited for this summer. I just know it going to be a good summer. I'm enjoying the beautiful weather and the fresh air. I'm enjoying taking walks despite having hurt my ankle really bad 3 weeks ago. It's getting better but not as much as I would of thought after 3 weeks and I know I should probably stay off it but I can't stay inside with this nice weather and I have to be on my feet the whole time I'm at work. Sometimes the pains wakes me up at night so hopefully it gets better soon. I'm really looking forward to that fire and BBQ this weekend. 

Have a great weekend and a great summer everyone!

Charmed