Tuesday, July 08, 2014

Love is Hard Work

Relationships often challenge us to redefine ourselves. We must find a way to compromise and learn each others sensitive issues so that we may handle them with care. All our faults tend to come out in a close relationship. Our communication issues, our trust issues, our commitment issues, or self esteem issues. They all tend to come out and as hard as that can be on the relationship it gives us the opportunity to better ourselves by taking a look at our issues and working on them. Having gotten pregnant right at the beginning of my current relationship let me tell you all my issues are intensified specially in the first three months when my emotions were all over the place. Its not as bad now but still have a few kinks to work out. 

Its hard accepting that things change in a relationship, that it won't be like it was in the beginning. Something's that are said in the beginning to impress one another end up creating expectations that often lead to disappointment if we put too much trust in those first moments when people tend to portray who they want to be rather than who they really are. It took me a bit to realize that's how things are and that it is what it is. I try to be more tolerant and not expecting too much and so far its helped our relationship a lot.

I got better at not dwelling on how good things were in the beginning and wishing it was still like that because that made me resentful and angry which was only making things worst. I felt like I had been manipulated to fall in love and once I had that effort stopped. I felt like the relationship was disappointing but that's only because I was comparing it to how good it was in the beginning but when I started comparing it with past relationships and other relationships I've seen I realized our relationship wasn't that bad after all. It was actually pretty damn good. Don't get me wrong we still have our ups and downs but its filled with love and caring which makes it all worth it.

I know I have had troubles in my past two major relationships to see the good in my relationships, to appreciate what I had and for some reason I always felt like I deserved better. I don't know why I was this way and since realizing it I have gotten better at taking a moment to appreciate the good that I know was there all along I just never paid it much attention. Now I want to focus on the positive not just for me but for the little baby on the way. I want a stable, calm, loving, accepting environment to raise our baby in. I want to show them to see the beauty in life and appreciate all the positive that is sent our way. Wish me luck.