Why Do Recovering Addicts Judge Other Addicts?

You would think that recovering addicts wouldn't judge other recovering addicts, but unfortunately some of them do. 

With all this hating on the 12 step programs lately I thought it was important to point out that we shouldn't be judging other people's recovery choice. I feel like this should be common sense, however it isn't. If someone is making their life better in any way maybe we should just be happy for them. Since the whole law suit about AA causing someone's death, the hate has only escalated. People posted videos explaining how the 12 steps is a cult and all sorts of other nasty comments about the program. This program does great things for many people. People should stop focusing on all the negatives and look at the positives things this program does.

12 step programs were never my thing, but I never had anything against it until a few 12 step followers ganged up on me and told me I wasn't really in recovery and some other bullshit that's not really important here. When I realized only someone completely ignorant could say something like that I knew I shouldn't hold a grudge against the program and every person who follows it because of a few misguided people. Most people in recovery are open minded and accepting, that includes people in the 12 step programs. Don't let the few bad ones taint your view of the rest.

Even when we don't agree with someone's recovery program it doesn't give us the right to judge them and tell them what we think is wrong with their recovery. Judging someone for their recovery choice is like judging them for their choice of therapy. Just because they felt they had a right to judge my recovery doesn't mean I have to judge theirs. We aren't immune from discriminating just because we've been discriminated against ourselves. It might make us less likely to, but we all do it at some point. Whether we do it consciously or not, we need to actively make an effort to recognize our prejudice and challenge it.

Some of us might think we have the right to decide that one recovery is better than another because of some false sense of entitlement. Overcoming adversity and achieving recovery doesn't give someone anymore say on how others should live their life, or their recovery. This isn't a contest on which recovery path is the best and who gets to decide. We need a variety of recovery options for the variety of different people struggling with addiction. Most of the time people discriminate because of their own insecurities and this isn't something reserved strictly for the recovery community either. Even people in the LGBT community stigmatize bisexuals.

I've been trying to keep my posts positive lately, but I really wanted to address this issue hoping we could become more aware of our own prejudice and hopefully show kindness where we might want to judge. I know it's not always easy, especially when we do it unconsciously. When someone's judging it doesn't really have anything to do with the person their judging but more to do with them. I know it sounds crazy but its really about their insecurities and how they were raised. If this happens to you don't feel bad, even I get caught up in the nonsense.

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Yours truly,

Chelsie Charmed

How Falling in Love with a Hep C Patient Changed My Life

I recently had a baby with a wonderful man suffering from hepatitis C, but not too long ago I was one of those people on the outside looking in. There’s a lot of stigma surrounding hep C patients. Even I stigmatized people with hep C without ever realizing it. Depending on the situation, I think most of us probably stigmatize people who are different from us and who don't fit in with the norm. When we don’t belong to a group and we don’t understand something it's easy to make assumptions or agree with society's view.

Even the new student intern who was helping the doctor in the maternity ward was making assumptions and stigmatizing my fiancée. She automatically assumed that I had hep C just because he had it. She didn’t understand why I’d want to have a baby with him if I didn’t. Why would I risk contracting the virus? Although Hepatitis C can be transmitted through sexual intercourse, one study found that the virus is only transmitted 1 out of every 190,000 instances of sexual contact. (healthline.com) She made him feel like he was less than human and acted very clearly like he was tainted.

I wasn’t very different from this student at one point in my life I made the same assumptions. I always saw myself as an open minded and accepting person so when I realized I was stigmatizing Hepatitis C patients I was surprised and more than a little embarrassed. Just like addiction, if we've never been touched by it personally it can be difficult to notice when we stigmatize addicts. Seeing it from this perspective has made me realize that when I get stigmatized for being a recovering addict people aren't always being mean. They're probably just ignorant and without knowing any better believe stereotypes or false information.

Sometimes we don't know how wrong our assumptions are and how much they negatively impact others until we experience it for ourselves. I was an outsider looking in, but once I made the journey from ignorant to sympathetic I was able to practice that in other situations. Having been stigmatized as an addict I became more compassionate but this situation was different because I got to experience both sides. I went from unknowingly stigmatizing them to noticing the stigma someone I loved was going through. I didn't get to experience both sides of the spectrum with addiction because I had parents who struggled with addiction it was always part of my life. Experiencing the shift between being the outsider stigmatizing people and then being the one stigmatized has open my eyes to my prejudice and has made me challenge my everyday assumptions more than ever.

Considering the society we live in my fiancé is very strong and brave for being so open about his illness. When we met it didn’t take long for him to share how he contracted the virus. Being a hemophiliac he got more blood transfusions than most and when the local Blood Drive failed to screen for hepatitis C, even though they had the technology to do so, thousands of people contracted the virus, including him. I know for a fact it's not easy for him to talk about, nevertheless he chooses to be honest.

The struggles he faces are hard enough on their own without having to deal with the discrimination and stigma. People often assume that the hep c had to of been contracted from doing drugs and sharing needles which is often followed by the belief that the addict is to be blame in some way, therefore, less deserving of sympathy. It shouldn't matter how it happened all that matters is that there just like everyone else. No one wants to have an illness, no one's to blame. We should all be treated the same. I understand the contagious part being an issue but just educate yourself if you're not sure of the risk.

Sincerely,
Charmed

PS. Check out the Crystal Healing Trees I make myself.