Sunday, July 26, 2015

How Can a Pregnant Teacher Dismiss Postpartum Struggles

Recovery Quote
Some people just won’t take mental illness seriously! Surprisingly one of those people ended up being my psychology professor. You would think a pregnant psychology professor would be more sympathetic towards a new mom suffering from a mild case of postpartum depression, but no, not even a doctor’s note would make her sympathetic to my situation.

Being a new mom in recovery, I wasn’t going to self-medicate to make myself feel better just to keep up with her demands. What’s even more disturbing is that she continually made things harder for me and graded my work like she had a grudge against me. To this day I can only speculate as to what was going through her mind.

Was she thinking that postpartum depression was only temporary and common so it wasn’t that serious? Was she thinking the Doctor only had my word on how I was feeling and what I was experiencing so it was too subjective for her to take seriously? Maybe she thought I was exaggerating the situation or that I didn’t seem ill so it couldn't be that bad.

I guess some people think postpartum depression and other mental illnesses aren’t real. I don't understand why. Everyone's struggle is real for them. Sometimes we don't even know what's going on in our own minds so how are we supposed to explain it to someone else. I didn’t want to share my past with her and explain to her that I was a recovering addict and that made things all the more difficult for me. I seriously thought a doctor’s note would suffice.
This teacher failed me in the last class I needed to graduate with my bachelor’s degree in psychology. Now that freaking sucks! She was very ignorant and had no compassion in her. Now I have to wait until next year to take the last class I need. I have no idea how that’s going to work out because I have to start paying back my school loans. All I know is that my teacher totally disregarded my doctors’ note and my explanation of the situation. I explained this entire situation to my thesis supervisor and she told me I should bring the situation to the school board because I wasn’t being treated fairly.

Don't Judge Recovering Addicts

This pregnant teacher took off so many points for being a couple of days late even though I had a doctors’ note. She also took points off for random things. She’d say I didn’t complete something when I clearly did or taking 5% off because I went over the page count when I clearly didn’t.

Despite just having a baby, I was attending all classes and studying hard for the exams. If anything, she should have admired my determination to keep going to school and finish even though I had a newborn baby. My thesis supervisor who I did open up about my past said she was in complete awe of how far I’ve come.

I did great on the multiple-choice section of the exam because the grading wasn't subjective. Any grading that was subjective to her interpretation was marked very low. Any question I answered in class was right and she couldn't deny that with the other students listening. When I tried talking to her about the issues I was having with her grading she completely dismissed me and pretty much said too bad.

Did she have something against me? Probably. I know I seem uncomfortable, distracted and sometimes not completely dedicated at school, but I’m also dealing with social anxiety. No matter the doctors note should have been enough and I shouldn’t be graded based on what you think of me but on the quality of my work.

Compassion in Recovery QuoteThese were the first months of me being a mom for the first time. I think anyone who’s already a mom knows how difficult those first few months can be without being a recovering addict dealing with postpartum depression. Maybe that was part of the problem. She was pregnant with her first and had no clue what it was like.

I'm disappointed to have to wait till next year to graduate when I knew the course material. The essays we had to do for class were only slightly related to the class topic and I still did them well. My essay average throughout university was 80%. I usually do very well in anything that has to do with writing.

Not to mention I have to start paying off my school loans when I haven't even graduated yet. All I can do now is look for someone who will hire me on as a writer and hope that I still get a job in my field while waiting to graduate. I'm hoping to get a job in my community support programs. I want to help people even if I start by volunteering some of my time. I'll do whatever it takes to follow my dream.