Sunday, August 03, 2014

Violent Outbursts & The Negative Effects of Benzos



Violent outburst, no guilt, and emotional detachment were just some of the negative effects I had to suffer at the hands of someone who was addicted to Benzos. When I was in active addiction I never came accross Benzos so I never did any. I had no idea what they were until someone I cared about got addicted. I had been clean for a couple years before I learned what they were. While I was in a serious relationship with another recovering addict he relapse and I had no idea what was going on. I was so uninformed about Benzos I had no clue that getting a script would cause him problems. 

He eventually told me that he use to get Benzos prescribed to him for anxiety but that he didn't really need them. He said he would take them to get to bed after getting high so I figured since he wasn't using anymore I had nothing to worry about. I still asked him why he decided to get a script if he didn't really have anxiety. His excuse was he needed money and wanted to sell them. For some reason I believed him and let it go at that. I didn't know they were a problem drug a lot of people get addicted to. He would say they weren't a big deal because they were prescribed to him.

Once he got the script he snorted the whole thing in the matter of days. A months worth in as little as 3 days. He tried to hide it from me, but it didn't take me long to realize he wasn't himself. It felt like I was living with a total stranger, like he was someone completely different. I wasn't sure what the cause was at first but I soon figured it out. I put two and two together, which wasn't too hard for me to do considering I know the signs of addiction all too well.
He got very aggressive, threatening, distant and without guilt. By the time he got his 3rd script I finally couldn't take it anymore and I flushed the rest of his pills down the toilet. He raced to the bathroom and pushed me in the tub to save his precious pills. It didn't matter that I was pregnant at the time. It was all very traumatic. I probably shouldn't of flushed them but I was hormonal and he was distant with no emotions. I was hurt and lost but I really loved him. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were.

If the pills are taken as prescribed they help a lot of people but he was abusing them and that's what caused our problems. They are meant to numb anxiety but if you take ten times the required amount you numb absolutely everything. Guilt and conscious with it. Anxiety and fear to a certain degree is a good thing. It prevents you from stealing, cheating and doing other hurtful shit to the person you love because you fear losing them.

Even though he relapsed and got violent I didn't leave him. By then I knew one of the side effects of abusing Benzos was turning your emotions off so you just don't care anymore. We worked through it and things got better. He quit using and tried to make up for his mistakes. I understood that it was the drug abuse and not him. Being a child of an addict it wasn't my first time dealing with an addicted love one. I know having compassion for the addict can go a long way in helping them get better.

I feel like it's important to let people know the effects so people can recognize when someone might be taking more then they should. They arent to be messed with or taken lightly. It a serious drug to abuse and only people who need them should take them. I found some great info that Id like to share with you guys in the link below.

Here's some great info from DualDiagnosis.org :

In the last year there have been several studies/stories about the risks associated with benzodiazepine abuse.  And while benzodiazepines have been prescribed for decades to treat anxiety and seizure disorders,  the possible threat of overusing them is real and with that comes dependency, overdose and the potentiality of death.  Did you know that since 2010, there have been 6,507 US drug overdose deaths that involved benzodizepines?  Because of this rising number, FRN created an infographic to help familiarize those about benzodiazepines but most importantly help create awareness regarding the possible addiction with benzodiazepines. 

Broken down in four sections, the  infographic (http://www.dualdiagnosis.org/benzodiazepine-addiction/) goes into detail about the following:

What are benzodiazepines: their brand names and the amount of prescriptions filled in the US in 2011, the number of related ER visits in 2010 and the confiscations by law enforcement for each associated drug. 

- Why prescribe benzodiazepines, specifically the disorders that are treated 
- Common side effects and contraindications with benzodiazepine use
- Key statistics related to the dangers of abuse 
- Symptoms of overdose

Sincerely Charmed

PS: Have you ever encountered Benzos before? If so let me know your experience with them and how they affected your life in the comments below. Thanks :D