Poem: Nowhere Left to Turn

I didn't get to post my usual weekly post last week because I've been dealing with some stuff. I can't write when my mind won't cooperate. So since I still haven't gotten around to finishing a post I thought I'd share a poem that I've been working on. This is the rough draft, the poem obviously needs some work but it does explain a little bit about what I've been dealing with. 

Poem: The Love of A Soulmate

In my heart forever will you stay,
Ever since that Christmas Day,
For the first time ever, I saw my forever,
Something we could build together.

Looking into a crowd and you’re all I see,
Nobody but you means this much to me,
The love you show me everyday
Keeps all the fear and pain away

All because I have found myself in you,
All of what I am I see mirrored in you,
It seems we have always been connected,
Waiting for our bodies and souls to be united.

Every time we are together,
It’s from one extreme to the other,
Our love and passion is so intense,
Gives me a feeling of time in suspense.

Our minds are linked by invisible ties,
That when I look into your eyes,
The whole world disappears,
No doubt, no fear.

To my one true Love and Father of the growing baby in my tummy D <3

PS. Check out the Crystal Healing Trees I make myself. They are super pretty and I find they can be very soothing and healing.

Charmed

Poem: Loving The Damaged Parts of My heart

This Poem is dedicated to that special person who made me believe that love doesn't have to hurt. 

The time spent hurt and alone

In the presence of one that would never know

The depths of my soul that would never heal

To understand would be to feel

Now left damaged and untrusting

For someone to find loving

The damaged parts that I've become

To pick them up and make them home

For only one with a soul replicated

Could love the parts I've hated

Mirrored souls become one mind

Left for my other half to find

In the deep reaches of my mind

There you will find a love so kind

That hides behind walls so tall

Only a true heart can make them fall

By one who accepts my damaged parts

Cherishing the broken pieces of my heart

Never needing for them to be put together

Seeing the beauty in its disaster

Yours truly, Charmed

PS. Check out the Crystal Healing Trees I make myself. They are super pretty and I find they can be very soothing and healing.

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's day is such a special day, I'm not a mom myself but I know how much mothers are important in our world and how often they go unappreciated when we are children. They are the foundation of our humanity, the rock and glue that holds us up and keeps us together. I'm so happy I got to come down and visit my mom this weekend. I had really missed her and hadn't seen her in over a month. She isn't just my mother she's my best friend and we share this amazing bond. A bond that has grown by leaps and bounds throughout my addiction and recovery. After everything we went through together and having her by my side through it all. The dedication and strength she had to help me get better is just amazing and I don't think she even realizes how great she really is. I can tell her all my secrets and she always has the best advice. She's there when I need her even when I don't ask. She's always thinking of her children and puts them first. Her big heart knows no bounds. She's selfless and strong. She's my mother and I love her. Since I don't have any money this Mother's day I wanted to dedicate a post just for her. Sharing one of my fondest memories of her and a poem I wrote for her.

One Of My Fondest Memory:

One summer about 4-5 years ago we decided to go camping together, something we hadn't done in a very long time. It was an all girls camping trip with two of my aunts who were also camping with us. I remember sharing a tent and cooking on the fire, playing cards late into the night. We had the best time and I was so happy. I had all of my mother attention because none of my brothers or our boyfriends were there. It’s a memory I cherish and hold close to my heart. I'm always hoping we can make a similar memory in the near future. I have brought it up a couple summers in a row now so hopefully we will go this summer just the two of us. I really miss the bonding time we had camping but any time spent with my mom is cherished. I'm so lucky to have such a great mom.

Poem: Dear MOM

You always come to help me 

You always want to be there for me

Even when you shouldn't be able

Your love is truly unconditional

You never gave up on me

When everyone said let it be

You stood by me through it all

Picked me up when I would fall

Thanks to your love and patience 

I have finally found my confidence

I turned out great to everyone dismay

You taught me to be the woman I am today

For all of that and more I have to say

I love you more every single day

You’re not just my mom, you’re my best friend

And you will be in my heart till the very end

Thank You Mom for all that you are to me.

Charmed 

Poem: Addiction How We Came To This

Unequipped to deal with it all,

When we met I was bound to fall,

Monkey see, Monkey do,

My parents taught me to fall for u,

Young, naive and carefree,

My whole life ahead of me,

Did I ever have a chance,

Against your captivating trance,

Promises of forgotten pain,

And to never be alone again,

Your lies were too tempting,

Without skills of reasoning,

How could I know better,

With parents who never,

Their reasoning in defense,

Beat my common sense,

Charmed

PS. Check out the Crystal Healing Trees I make myself. They are super pretty and I find they can be very soothing and healing.

Poem Alone In Your Presence

All alone in your presence.

Did you notice my style

Do you see me smile

I seek your attention

Your love, your passion

Your right here beside me

But I'm still so alone, you see

Doesn't matter that your there

When you don't seem to care

I've been on my own

Always all alone

When its all said and done

Its a relationship for one

Your actions betray your words

For it can't be love that your in

And if it isn't love that you've found

Then why keep me around

Charmed

~Love Keeps Hurting Poem~

Same goes for this one and all my poems. Some of you might not like them but they are truly from the heart so please be respectful. I understand that my poem is not perfect and it might seem like I'm complaining, and maybe I am. But all I wanted to do was put down into words the emotions that I felt. The mess in my head. Plain and simple.

Love Keeps Hurting

I'm filled with your lies,

I can see it in your eyes,

How can I believe you,

After what you put me through.

To all the actions not taken,

To all the promises broken,

Your words are now empty,

When you say you love me.

With tears in my eyes,

As I begin to realize,

Its not worth fighting for,

Not anymore.

Wanting to be yours truly,

Wanting you to see me,

Too bad he will never understand,

What it takes to be my man.

Charmed

Love Hurts Poem

Same goes for this one and all my poems. Some of you might not like them but they are truly from the heart so please be respectful. I understand that my poem is not perfect and it might seem like I'm complaining, and maybe I am. But all I wanted to do was put down into words the emotions that I felt. The mess in my head. Plain and simple.

Love Hurts

Your lack of care,
Becomes a lot to bare,
Every day, Every night,
All you do is pick a fight,

You always have a say,

You always have your way,

And when it counts,

Nothing I do amounts,

Again you ignore,

Like I'm a chore,

Its never enough,

I'm never enough,

I'm not worth the effort,

And that really hurts,

It hurts my heart,

Its breaking us a part,

How can you not feel what I feel,

Giving you my heart was a big deal,

Wanting to be your one and only,

You started treating me as a duty,

You will never be,

That crazy about me,

Do I ask to much,

That you crave my touch,

All I want is for you to be happy,

How can you treat me so badly,

My love was always true to you,

Why couldn't you feel it too,

Charmed

Sea Poem

At 14 years old in 2003, my mom and I made this poem when I kept moving back and forth from my dads who lived 5 hours away. I just found it in my diary and thought I'd share.

~SEA~

Sailing the great sea,

Feeling happy,

If the stars shine bright,

If every things right,

Under the sky, above the sea,

You'll be standing next to me,

If and when things go wrong,

We'll be holding strong,

Cause storms always passes,

Long before a new day begins,

We might of sailed different ways,

 But if it was meant to be,

We'll see each other some day,

Sailing on the same sea,

Charmed