Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Another Disapointment

Last time I talked to my dad he called me to see if I'd come down and go through my stuff like books and clothes that I had stored at his place. He ended up putting all my stuff outside in the frozen garage were bugs, mice, freezing weather and with who knows what else wrecking my stuff, when that wasn't our agreement. It was suppose to be stored in the house but he moved my stuff without asking me and only told me afterwards. What's frustrates me is that I don't asks him for much of anything, the only thing I've asked of my dad in forever is to keep my stuff stored were it can be safe and he can't even do that. Anyways we made plans for him to pick me up on Thursday around 3 pm when he was done work so I could go through my stuff at his place sometime during the weekend. Once I was all packed on Thursday I sat around waiting for my dad and he ended up calling to say he wasn't coming to pick me up until Friday at 3 pm now. Not really surprising but still frustrating. On Friday I was ready and waiting around by 3 but my dad didn't actually come pick me up till 4 and even then he sent his boss to pick me up. I was brought to the office so we could leave in the transport since he couldn't bring the transport through town. Once at the office I had to wait for my dad to get there and then I had to wait while my dad had a couple beers, while I just sat there and waited for him to DRIVE ME. Once he finished his last beer he decided he wanted a pill to stay up, so now I had to wait for him to get that. I was just sitting in the office waiting when he left with his boss to go do something else and that's when I almost got left there, which is in the middle of the bush, because when he told  his boss girlfriend that they wasn't coming back to the office and wanted her to meet up with them, he didn't tell her I would need a ride with her to go meet him. This made me feel like a child again where my dad was to busy with his addiction to remember me.

We didn't leave until 7 pm and I didn't get to my mom's until 8 pm. My dad said he was too tired for me to go through my stuff that night and made plans for me to come over Saturday and maybe even have supper with him but then Saturday he also said he was too tired. In the end I didn't even get to go through my stuff which in his mind was the reason I came down in the first place. Although I was also going down to visit my mother and my grandmother, my dad didn't know that and he still didn't seem to care that I didn't get to go through my stuff. This might not seem like a big deal but its a constant problem when it comes to my dad. I sometimes feel like I shouldn't get so frustrated and that what he is doing to me is ok. I'm just over reacting but then I realise I shouldn't have to put up with this. Not to mention that when he was making me wait I told him I really wanted to go or that he could of picked me up when he was ready to go,( instead of making me wait in the office while he got high) and he would tell me: well I work so hard this week, I worked 100 hours, I deserve this beer or to take a break before leaving, you can wait, right. Trying to get pity from me, which he always does with everyone. But you know what: We all work and we all have our own shit to deal with but when I tell someone I'll do something, I do it and I think of others. He's suppose to be my dad and help with my problems like most dads do. He shouldn't be trying to get pity from me with his problems. I would like to hear about how his doing if it wasn't all about getting pity from me and its not like he really asks me how my weeks been or if he does, he will tell me how his was worst all the time. I came to terms with not being able to depend on my dad years ago and I'm fine with it but he doesn't need to bring his shit to my door and expect me to pity him for his tough week or life or whatever. His life is His choice and Always has been.