Wednesday, February 13, 2013

What Could Of Helped

What could of Helped or Prevented my addiction

Even though I'll never know for sure since everything happens for a reason and maybe it was just meant to be, here's my opinion on the things that could of been done differently to help me. Now I find this topic to be complicated because what works for one person wont necessarily work for the other and I think its important to remember that. Despite this being an issue I believe that knowing how others dealt with their situation can give me an idea of what might work for me. I can take parts of what others did and change it a little to suit my present situation. So instead of just telling you what I think should be done Ill share my experiences with you and what I think could of worked for me and what did work for me at the time.

Well first of all what would of helped is not having my dad offer me drugs and not having him normalize drug use. This made me think that drugs were O.K. and not harmful. Now I know this isn't the norm so lets move on to something a little more general which can apply to the majority. Telling kids the truth about drugs is important and what it really does to people in the long run. Being honest and giving them all the information and not just the part you want is important because it lets them know they can trust you and what your saying. I wish I would of known the truth about drugs back then not just what my dad wanted me to know. On the other hand I had people dictating and telling me never to use drugs which obviously didn't work. What could of been done here to help is explaining their harmful effects while also be open to questions and doubts. The important thing here would of been giving us access to all the information we need to make the right choice on our own because in the end, its exactly that our choice. No one can't make the choice for them no matter how much they want too. Another great thing would be having a good role model available since teenagers often don't want to open up to their parents. We want to find our own identity so while branching out from home we will start looking else where for a role model. That's why making sure we have someone reliable and responsible that we are close too in our lives other than our parents would be very helpful.

Now we all know that having a parent set rules and punishments is a good way to give us structure and discipline. But whats important is doing so in a calm way with out freaking out because we learn from your example to deal with negative situations in a calm and healthy way. Also having someone who's aware of the signs but doesn't constantly doubt me unless having good reason too, would be essential because having confidence in me would give me confidence in myself. We need that confidence in ourselves so we know we can do better. What really helped me after the damage was already done was that compliments and reinforcements didn't stop. I still felt like people thought I really could do better and that help me keep faith in myself. It wasn't always about what I didn't do but what I could do. Also having a stable home where I wasn't always moving back and forth between my parents because I wasn't getting my way with one parent I'd move in with the other parent. And sometimes it was just because I didn't feel at home anymore. If they would of been able to agree on where I should stay and how to raise me, it would of made a big difference. Them not getting along after the separation and telling me how bad the other was out of spite made me lose confidence in my parents. Now that I knew all of the things they had ever did wrong I didn't trust my parents and I didn't respect them anymore which is really bad. A child should always be able to trust and respect their parents and also not be ashamed of them.

Now these are just a few examples but I believe they would of been the most helpful to me. I believe the fact that my mom never gave up on me even though at times she needed her space, had a lot to do with my recovery. And despite my dad not being a responsible parent, he always had confidence in me and gave me lots of compliments. He made me feel like I could accomplish anything from a young age. I believe that its this exact confidence he instilled in me that I drew strength from when I was trying to get sober. I hope this helps someone out there get an idea of some of things that could be done to help. If you have any questions, feel free to comment.