Saturday, January 12, 2013

Finding Mr. Right

I don't need much to be happy in a relationship. I just need to feel cherished and I'm happy. Some girls need money or status, I just want to be loved. I want to feel special and having someone go out of their way to see me smile is the best compliment in my mind. If I want money or status Ill get it on my own. I don't see this as a lot because its a given for me in a relationship. But to some this is asking too much. I get that making someone feel cherished requires multiple different things. Like not being selfish with that person, being interested in what their doing simply because their doing it, being honest and affectionate, giving true compliments, doing little things to remind the person their special, doing something simply to see the other happy, with out complaining. I do all these things naturally when I'm in a relationship. I treat the person I love the way I want to be treated. So I guess I believe that if someone loves me they should do the same.

I understand that I might not get all those things all the time which is fine. Id be happy with just some of those things some of the time. Am I asking for too much ? Is what I'm asking impossible ? Am I foolish to believe that I might find that someday ?  I believe my biggest problem in finding Mr. Right is that when I finally meet a guy who seems to have these qualities there's always something essential missing. That spark, the connection that makes me attracted to this person. Its nothing specific and its hard to describe but its like the passion is missing. Its always been one or the other. I can never be cherished and have passion. Right now it seems I have lots of passion but I lack feeling important. I know I shouldn't settle for one or the other but I rather have one or the other then none at all.

I don't like being alone and I know that makes me look weak and probably unattractive to most guys but its the truth. I love having someone to share my life with. Being important to someone. Knowing that person chose me over everyone else makes me feel special. Some people might think that because I don't want to be alone that I'm not happy with myself. Which I've thought about but that's just not true, I like getting my alone time and that's why I still live on my own instead of with my boyfriend. I like being independent and doing my own thing but since I moved to go to school I don't have anyone around that I'm close to. So the only intimate interaction I have is in my relationship. Everyone needs at lease one person around that their close too. I believe Ill always want to be in a relationship and I've accepted that even if I don't always like it. I'm just hoping that one day Ill feel both love and passion.